Rated Something, stop pretending you give a rat’s ass, it’s a comic book movie, and you’re gonna go see it anyway, no matter what the MPAA says. (Editors Note: PG-13)

Directed by Some Dude who failed to make any sort of impression on me as a director (Editors Note: Mark Steven Johnson)

Written by Some Dude who has a copy of word, knows how type, & thinks he can direct (see above.)

Starring Nicholas Cage, Eva Mendes, Peter Fonda, Donal Logue, Sam Elliot, and some out of work actors that were just hanging out when the director said, “Hey, you guys wanna play some really suck ass supervillains? I‘ll pay ya.” at least that’s what it looked like to me.

All I can say is I give this movie a whole box of donuts!! Wow, while watching this movie I felt like I was 12 years old, listening to Sabbath, & reading the cheesy Marvel horror comics I just bought at 7-11. All I needed was a half melted Slurpee to complete my experience. (Yes, I know they sell them at the concession stand, but I didn’t have anyone to co-sign for me.)

Anyway, they managed to capture what made me a ghost rider fan all those years ago. It was great. I can actually say I had fun watching the movie. Was it a good movie? $%#& no. But I liked it anyway. (I read a lot of trash back then) To me it was good despite its flaws. Remember, they can’t all be Oscar Worthy (Thankfully, if they were doctors would prescribe movies to patients who have sleeping disorders.) I am even willing to look the other way at Johnny Blaze listening to Karen Carpenter because they used the Oz-man on the soundtrack To me Ghost Rider & Ozzy go hand in hand. (Hey, not just Geeks read comicbooks Y’know, us metalheads read ‘em too.)

The cast did a cool Job. Nicholas Cage (Fellow comic book connoisseur) was great as Johnny Blaze, I never imagined Blaze with a southern accent, but he made it fit. Kudos to you sir, you brought the character to life. Donal Logue did a great job as Mack, Johnny Blaze’s sidekick/best friend. I thought both him & Eva Mendes deserved more screen time. Eva Mendes played Roxy, yet another in the long line of superhero cliché girlfriend/reporters, but I felt she did a better job than Kate what’s her name in Superman Returns. At least Mendes & Cage had onscreen chemistry together. The Superman Rerun had me seeing more chemistry between Lois & Lex than with her & Superman. Yo, people who do casting, look up the word chemistry & make a note of how it should exist between the superhero & his significant other, then take the note & have it tattooed on the inside of your eyelids, it is that important. Bosworth, that’s her name, Kate Bosworth. I knew I’d remember it. But yeah, Mendes did a great job, in my opinion, & my opinion must count for something, you are still reading this after all.

I thought Peter Fonda was a kick ass choice for Mephisto in this film, for those who don’t know why, just Google or IMDB him, I’m not gonna insult this guy by putting a stack of credits by his name.

As for Sam Elliot, what can I say except this? Dude if you ever need a standing ovation, just let me know, I’ll get one going for you. He did a great job, unfortunately, he was underused. Hey, director guy, if you are gonna pay for Sam Elliot, why not actually #$%&in’ use him? Huh? What the #$%& were you thinking? I’d have paid an extra dollar at the box office to have seen him stay in the movie longer; he was playing a cool character & worked well with Nicholas Cage. Here comes the Climactic battle & he just up & leaves like that? WTF? I wish I had some of what the writer was smoking when he came up with that lame idea.

Now to the guys who played the villains, I’m sorry, I’m sure you are all fine actors, you looked pretty bad ass in the film too. Unfortunately, the director decided to trivialize the villain fights. Bad ass though you were, the director had to cheapen your parts & you came off looking like chumps. I am really sorry about that, it seems the director doesn’t understand the inherent violence of the superhero genre. Yes a superhero/supervillain fight can be quick, it can even be easy for the hero, but it should NEVER under any circumstances whatsoever seem to be unimportant. The fights are why we buy the superhero comicbooks; I didn’t think it was that big a secret. There are 2 important things in comics, the build up to the fight & the fight. If you have the build up to the fight & a bad fight, the only things you accomplish is insult the comic fans & show that your lack of understanding for the superhero genre. Believe it or not, that wasn’t meant to insult the director. Well, maybe just a little. It was meant for guys who want to make superhero movies something other than what they are. Notice I said Superhero, not Comicbook. I’m tired of seeing movies that try to be something they aren’t. These are Superhero flicks, if you wanna make them art, at least make them comicbook art. (I’m looking at you Ang Lee & Brian Singer).

All in all, despite all the smack I talked, I ended up having a fun time at the movie. I warn you now; Ghost Rider is definitely a guy movie, not a date movie. But the kids’ll love it.